Dan's Funeral Card

When ordinary friends send mushy "thinking of you" cards, your friend deserves the strategic masterpiece that rewrote the rules of reality TV alliances. Nothing says "our friendship is built on mutual appreciation of psychological warfare" quite like Dan's funeral.

Why this card will dominate their mailbox:

• Celebrates friendship as cunning as Dan's house meeting theatrics

• Perfect for the friend who'd definitely have your back in a blindside vote

• Contains zero actual condolences, 100% strategic brilliance

Everyone remembers where they were during Dan's funeral – that glorious moment when a man in a self-imposed, metaphorical body bag manipulated an entire house into keeping him around. As far as Dan's funeral tributes go, this card silently whispers "I'd put you in my final two alliance any day."

Product Details:

• Standard 5" x 7" size (perfect for displaying on your memory wall)

• Comes with kraft paper envelope (guaranteed free of eviction notices)

• Blank inside

Get it before your friends form an alliance against you.

A small but mighty portion of all sales (including this one!) is donated to the Maggie Daley Center for Women's Cancer Care at Northwestern in memory of my mom, Pam, the original PGC.

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