Whoa Birthday Card

Time waits for no one, and neither does this funny birthday card. Sadly, it may be the closest thing we’ll ever get to Neo being named Poet Laureate of the United States.

Fine, fine. I can already hear the collective gasp from the literary community. Stranger things have happened. We live in a world where reality TV stars become presidents, so why not appoint the dude from Point Break as the official poet of the United States?

His verse would be a masterclass in brevity, his poetic prowess lying in his ability to distill complex ideas into succinct and bewildering phrases.

This minimalist approach would leave traditional poets scratching their heads, his verses touching upon love, loss, and the eternal quest for meaning, all with a touch of his signature stoicism:

"Be excellent, my heart,
For in this world's turmoil,
Bill and Ted's love endures."

Details —

• Size: 5” × 7”
• Inside: blank for your message
• Paper: heavyweight matte (white)
• Envelope: speckled kraft paper

A small but mighty portion of all sales (including this one!) is donated to the Maggie Daley Center for Women's Cancer Care at Northwestern in memory of my mom, Pam, the original PGC.

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