Van Down by the River Card

Remember when motivational speakers weren't Instagram influencers selling you green smoothies but instead... middle-aged men who lived in vans by rivers?

Yeah, I miss the ‘90s too.

This card features everyone's favorite cautionary-tale-turned-life-coach in his natural habitat: gesturing wildly while destroying furniture and crushing the self-esteem of suburban teenagers everywhere.

Product Details:

• Dimensions: 5"×7"
• Blank inside
• Includes one perfectly adequate kraft paper envelope

Why You Need This: Because sometimes "You Got This!" cards are just too earnest, and your friend needs to be reminded that no matter how bad things get, at least they're not 35, divorced, and living in a van down by the river.

A small but mighty portion of all sales (including this one!) is donated to the Maggie Daley Center for Women's Cancer Care at Northwestern in memory of my mom, Pam, the original PGC, who probably let me start watching SNL earlier than she should've. Thanks, Ma!

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